I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize