She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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