Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
