at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
