mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
