when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
As shirtless as possible
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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