Me too!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize