ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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