I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
