Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
