Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize