Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Someone signed my nipple.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize