Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
