No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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