She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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