You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
