i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
