You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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