then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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