Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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