I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
