I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
is that a dick in a sweater?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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