I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
