Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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