ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You work out of a Hotel?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
