Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
