i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
