So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
