Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
