last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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