Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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