i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i think i just lost a toe
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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