Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
