He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
