Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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