just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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