im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
