Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
