so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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