ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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