Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
