im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
