Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
