I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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