So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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