I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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