4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
