the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
