Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
