The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
