i think my mom watched the whole time
Its about making memories worth repressing
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
