i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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