i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
