Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
