this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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