i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
