We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
