the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize