Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
