he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
