Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
