worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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