And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize