I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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